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The Power of Screen-Free Togetherness

You can also read this article in Psychology Today here My father once attended a Harvard alumni reunion in which he listened to a speech by a former Harvard president. “I’ve spoken with many alumni here and many of us are divorced or just alone and miserable,” one alumnus shared with the president during the […]

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Want to Transform Your Life? Reclaim Floodlight Thinking

At a recent two-day conference I taught to over fifty leaders in Amsterdam, we began by participants reading the Ground Rules. They expressed surprise at the fourth and most controversial rule of our collective engagement: Your phone, laptop, tablet or other digital device must be switched off during the sessions. A phone ringing during a […]

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The Presence Cure

You can also read this article in Psychology Today here The greatest lesson I learned at a conference I facilitated for over fifty nonprofit leaders in Amsterdam earlier this month dates back to a troubled American teenager named Mark. Don’t Give Up on Me At sixteen years old, Mark had been expelled from a public […]

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The Loneliness of Working for Social Change

You can also read this article in Psychology Today here Ever since Sarah Wright and I started researching loneliness together about ten years ago, I have asked participants at my leadership conferences “Who here feels lonely sometimes?” at the beginning of a session I teach on how to create a culture of belongingness in organizations. […]

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Our Misguided Image of Masculinity Still Prevails

You can also read this article in Psychology Today here Many of us like to think of ourselves as enlightened when it comes to gender relations. Let’s consider just how enlightened we are with respect to two controversial and critical dimensions of how men and women interact: cooperation and aggression. Congratulations on Your Promotion! Now […]

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Dating in the Age of Distraction: The Beautiful Ones Always Smash the Picture

Some people believe that dating has never been so easy as it is today. Swipe right and connect. Done. No need to approach someone in a bar, or even go to a bar in the first place. Do it All without Getting Up Many of us believe that the Internet helps us create the illusion […]

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The Challenge of Developing Meaningful Relationships in the Age of Distraction

I went for a walk around Lago di Albano (near Rome) this past weekend and was thinking about how there are two things we do in life: First, we choose how we want to live. Second, we live with what we choose.  I was reflecting on how I’ve made some choices in my life that […]

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One More Text, No Less Loneliness

This is Part Two of a three-part series.   “One of the more vivid events in my life was the time that my daughter, at two years old, was diagnosed with central diabetes insipidus (a rare disorder),” Leanne told me, looking down at the floor at one of my leadership conferences.   When You’re Down, Social Media […]

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One More Email, No Less Loneliness 

 This is Part One of a three-part series.  People used to believe that when we start to compete in any sport or game, such as football, chess or hang gliding, we compare ourselves with the masters of the game in order to give ourselves something ambitious to aim toward.  Until Leon Festinger came along.  Be Good, […]

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Our Shared Loneliness

A friend of mine lives in Healdsburg, a beautiful town in Northern California. A few years ago, David invited his aunt and uncle (in their mid-sixties) and his aunt’s mother (in her mid-eighties) over for Thanksgiving.  How Our Screens Divide Us  David’s uncle and aunt sat on the sofa and immediately turned on their iPads. […]

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